Friday, February 15, 2013
Some sorta miniature tool construction. Don't know why the heck they made the tools and nails so huge, virtually splitting the fake wood when hammering, and tearing it when sawing. lol!
Airplane when completed （飛行機の完成）
Unfortunately, it's in the bin now because it kept falling apart
Jump-rope Competition (なわとび大会）
Deryk's team won. yay!
Weekend chores--scrubbing his and Kenji's uwabaki's
And... a chart for chores completed.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Congratulations, babe! We are officially expecting a child.
When at the end of the month, I noticed that you were a little more tired, slightly more edgy, more hungry, and desiring certain crunchy foods, I began wondering if you were pregnant. You were doing tiny things out of the ordinary that made me more and more sure.
Then you missed what normally comes every month, and the prospect became almost 100% for us. We began making plans, talking about the what-ifs, how a new child in this world would change our lives.
A few days later you took the test that proved 99% accurate, and sure enough two lines showed. I have to be honest and say that I wasn't full of smiles and excitement, and regretfully so. I wish that I had expressed more positive emotion instead of ones mixed and self-centered.
I thought of our honeymoon that we would have to forego, that ever since the day I decided I wanted to marry you I spent years of mental energy trying to plan; trying to make it perfect. "If the baby would wait just 2 more months," I thought. I day-dreamed that, as we walked out of Narita airport after a restful and memorable honeymoon, you would suddenly feel nauseous and pregnant. THEN I'd be ready!!
But alas, we aren't the ones who choose when the baby comes. And as much as I like to be the lord of my fate (and yours too sometimes) I'm not. I've already learned that.
Don't get me wrong, despite all the hardship it entails, I REALLY want a baby. As far as I see it, it's what would seal our relationship and give it its last bit of richness and completeness that it needs. To the contrary, I don't even want to imagine how our relationship would be if you were not able to have one. I fear that Kenji and Deryk would not be able to fully accept each other as brothers otherwise.
So putting practical and realistic thoughts aside, I want you to know that above and beyond all these nervous and uncertain thoughts is a happiness unspeakable and an excitement that I cannot begin to express. The life that grows within you is a big part of a dream-come-true of the perfect life that I had before given up hope attaining. Throughout the years, being with you, is bringing to reality a fairy tale that I dare not close my eyes to for fear that it would pass as a dream.
Again, words prove insufficient and cruelly lack to tell you what goes on in my complicated head. But suffice it to say, no matter what I tell you or how burdened I am, you are the BEST THING that has happened in my life. And I want you to know more than anything RIGHT NOW that I am so happy we are expecting. I'm praying that we can keep it, and that I can be the support you need.
I love you