The role of daddy

  "Kenji also needs a daddy--not just someone who works and brings in money. I realize that he, more importantly, needs a daddy who can give him a piggyback ride, collect sticks with him in the mountain, and splash around in the snow and mud."

  Kenji and Deryk are not without their favorites. For the first 4 years of Kenji's life he was with only a mommy, and for Deryk it was his first 3 years with his daddy. After daddy and mommy met and assumed the role of parents to both, instinctively and naturally they would, for the months and years to come, cling to one more than the other.
  However perfect our union was, it was with sacrifices and compromises--as every couple must be willing to make. Mommy and I were once single parents and were both father and mother to our own, but when we met that had changed.
  But slowly.
  Yet quicker than I thought.
  The transition period had its immense hardships. Slowly but surely we were taking on the roles that we were meant to.

  The catastrophic earthquake that happened in Miyagi prefecture on March 11th was a time of tremendous loss and heartbreak for millions. But amidst this tragedy, I'm seeing something beautiful happen: hearts and lives are uniting, compassion and care are regaining its importance, and there is much more of a recognition of human frailty. What you have spent years trying to build can be destroyed in a minute.
  Fay and I have put everything into building our lives despite setbacks and lack of moral and community support. We have come far. And when this earthquake hit and the panic and confusion of it caused us to evacuate, for a moment I considered that we were also putting into jeopardy everything that we have built so far.
  Perhaps I was wrong.
  Today Deryk was in tears and he told me that he thought I didn't like him anymore. I realize that this time away from work is a healthy get away; a time that was much needed to regain a closeness with the thing that is more important than work--my family.
  Often, work can take predominance over everything, even the things that are more important. Though without work, thus without money, one cannot live and support his family, everyone needs a time to come away from the trees to see the forest; to be able to put things back into perspective.
  Just as Deryk needs a mommy, Kenji also needs a daddy--not just someone who works and brings in money. I realize that he, more importantly, needs a daddy who can give him a piggyback ride, collect sticks with him in the mountain, and splash around in the snow and mud--things that mommy's usually don't do but that boys need.
  Though there was much loss and pain and separation because of the earthquake, I'm sure that we are not the only ones who are experiencing reunion.